You’re officially invited to a bat mitzvah party for the ages. The theme? Friendship, growing pains, and a lot of chutzpah. In You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah, Adam Sandler stars alongside his real-life daughters Sunny and Sadie for a coming-of-age story that will have everyone dancing the hora. 

Directed by Sammi Cohen from a script by Alison Peck, the movie centers on lifelong best friends Stacy (Sunny Sandler) and Lydia (Samantha Lorraine), who have always dreamt of epic bat mitzvahs. But when popular boy Andy Goldfarb (Dylan Hoffman) and Hebrew school drama come between them, their perfect plans go comically — and poignantly — awry. Can they make up in time to celebrate their big moment together?

“It has something for everyone,” Cohen told Tudum. “As much as kids will see themselves in this, adults will too. [The movie] gives us insight to this very Jewish coming-of-age experience but speaks to broader themes about what it means to be a kid today. Most of the time it’s a fun, exhilarating ride, but sometimes your stomach drops and you think the world will end. But hey, that’s being 13.”

Not convinced? Just take a look at the trailer above. Ahead, Cohen detailed what to expect from the movie, its inspirations, and what it was like to become a temporary member of the Sandler family. 

What is You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah about?

When you meet Stacy, she’s on the cusp of a major transformation. In the Jewish tradition, young women come of age in a bat mitzvah ceremony marking their transition into adulthood. Typically, that means months of prep to learn a Torah portion that you then recite in front of friends and family at a synagogue, indicating that you are ready to take your place in the community. And then? You party. 

“I was excited to tell a Jewish coming-of-age story that explores formative female friendships and self-discovery in a real, messy, authentic way,” Cohen said. Romantic crushes aside, the director sees Stacy and Lydia’s friendship as the movie’s central relationship. “Stacy and Lydia’s chemistry is undeniable,” Cohen added. “They’re little platonic soulmates. The kind of friends who make you feel nostalgic for your own. It’s relatable. It’s messy. It encapsulates the first kind of love many of us experience: your childhood best friend.”

In the movie, Stacy’s religious coming-of-age takes place within a much larger story: “When we first meet Stacy, she’s focused on her own experiences and how the world affects her,” Cohen said. “She learns that life isn’t about having experiences, it’s about sharing them. Fulfillment doesn’t come from people affecting your world, it comes from how you affect the world around you.”

Although the movie is rooted in Jewish tradition, Cohen stressed that its themes — specifically the emotional and physical growing pains that Stacy and Lydia experience as they enter their teenage years — are accessible to all. “Learning about who you are in the world and who you want to become is a very Jewish experience,” the director said. “[But] it’s also a universal experience.” Case in point: In crafting the vision of the film, Cohen referenced “everything from Shiva Baby to Mean Girls.” 

“A big source of inspiration for our camerawork and framing comes from films like Waves and artists like Petra Collins,” Cohen said. “Production design was inspired by Sixteen Candles. “Tonally, it felt like this careful dance between drama and comedy. I wanted it to feel as grounded as Tomboy and Stand by Me but as funny as Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Speaking of John Hughes, Cohen teased that fans should keep their eyes peeled for a special homage to the coming-of-age legend hidden within the film. 

Who is in the cast of You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah?

This is how we win. Get ready for an Uncut Gems reunion: Idina Menzel and Adam Sandler play husband and wife once again, with Sunny and Sadie rounding out the fictional Friedman family. 

Joining them in the cast are Sandler’s off-screen wife Jackie Sandler, Saturday Night Live’s Sarah Sherman, and Wednesday’s Luis Guzmán, along with Ido Mosseri, Samantha Lorraine, Dylan Hoffman, Dean Scott Vazquez, Miya Cech, Ivory Baker, Dylan Dash, Millie Thorpe, Zaara Kuttemperoor, Judd Goodstein, and Kasey Bella Suarez.

“It was the best,” Cohen said of getting to make a movie with the entire Sandler household. “The Sandlers made me part of the family. It was this really beautiful thing where everyone had space to do their own thing, but always had support when they needed it. There’s a natural chemistry you get with the Sandlers that makes everything feel real and slice-of-life. What was really special to watch was how the movie mirrored real life. Right before filming, Sunny had her actual bat mitzvah. It was a big coming-of-age moment for everyone. And filming the movie felt like a continuation of that.”

When is You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah’s release date?

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah is now streaming on Netflix. See you on the dance floor!

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