[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] If you can't kill them with kindness, try lethal injection. 

[CLIP] [Joanna Lumley as Grandmama Hester Frump] Nothing stirs the senses like a funerary urn. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] Your treacherous path is my walk in the park. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I don't evolve. I cocoon. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I liked you better when you were a crystal ball away. 

[CLIP] [Luis Guzmán s as Gomez Addams] You could dangle her over a pit of rattlesnakes, she still wouldn't tell you her secrets. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] Are your serial killer services listed online, too? 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I'm mixing business with pleasure. Funerals are a hobby.

[CLIP] [Emma Myers as Enid Sinclair] You have a stalker?

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] Don't be jealous. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I only sign my name in blood. 

[CLIP] [Evie Templeton as Agnes DeMille] I would expect nothing less. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I never said it was my own blood. 

[CLIP] [Isaac Ordonez as Pugsley Addams] I'm sneaking off to the skull tree to go dig up that dead kid. Who's coming? 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] He's got the brains of a dung beetle and the ambition of a French bureaucrat. 

[CLIP] [Isaac Ordonez as Pugsley Addams] Stick your finger in enough sockets, you'll learn a thing or two. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] Nothing like a bad pun to throw dirt on the coffin of epic poetry. 

[CLIP] [Emma Myers as Enid Sinclair] This is my fun and freedom era. I've sworn off all dead bodies this semester. 

[CLIP] [Isaac Ordonez as Pugsley Addams] I think I'm gonna call him Slurp. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] It's Addams with two D's, like padded room. 

[CLIP] [Fred Armisen as Uncle Fester] If there's an expert on getting committed to a loony bin, it's me. 

[CLIP] [Emma Myers as Enid Sinclair] She's like this dark North Star for psycho killers. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] My shoes are filled with broken glass and razor blades. You'd bleed out after two steps. 

[CLIP] [Steve Buscemi as Principal Dort] Would you like a sticker? 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] Only if you have one that says, "Do not resuscitate." 

[CLIP] [Catherine Zeta-Jones as Morticia Addams] Nothing like death, despair, and dismemberment to try and snap her out of her coma. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I'm late for a funeral. If you're here when I get back, I'll be early for another. 

[CLIP] [Gwendoline Christie as Principal Larissa Weems] He's a carnival barker masquerading as an educator. 

[CLIP] [Fred Armisen as Uncle Fester] Of all the women I've ever used, you're my favorite.

[CLIP] [Isaac Ordonez as Pugsley Addams] That's right, I am your bro. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I already have a right hand. I don't need another. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] In my experience, someone always dies in the woods. Perhaps we'll get lucky. 

[CLIP] [Emma Myers as Enid Sinclair] For someone who hates being the center of attention, you have a habit of attracting it. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I'd rather attract leprosy. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I have FOBI, fear of being included. 

[CLIP] I'm not sleeping with a zombie.

[CLIP] [Isaac Ordonez as Pugsley Addams] Zombies don't sleep, duh.

[CLIP] [Fred Armisen as Uncle Fester] You never forget the cold embrace of your first straight jacket. 

[CLIP] [Joanna Lumley as Grandmama Hester Frump]  The only people who deserve to be buried in this dump are the maintenance staff. 

[CLIP] [Emma Myers as Enid Sinclair] Try that again and I'll treat you to some real pain and suffering. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I usually enjoy cruel and unusual punishments. Not tonight. 

[CLIP] [Fred Armisen as Uncle Fester] I love shadows. That's where I do my best stalking.

[CLIP] [Gwendoline Christie as Principal Larissa Weems] The tantalizing prospect of tormenting you from beyond the grave was just too delicious to pass up. 

[CLIP] [Fred Armisen as Uncle Fester] I'm a big fan of child labor. 

[CLIP] [Catherine Zeta-Jones as Morticia Addams] I haven't seen your skin break out like that since Pugsley colored the inside of your favorite death mask.

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I'm just trying to embrace my inevitable decay with a touch of enthusiasm. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams]  I haven't enjoyed a mother-son relationship like this since Psycho. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] Neither one of us have an iota of compassion. One of our most endearing traits. 

[CLIP] [Joanna Lumley as Grandmama Hester Frump] I've been to funerals with more life than this gala. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I don't like to speak ill of the dead either. It's much more fun to demonize the living. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] You know my waterboard is in my closet. 

[CLIP] [Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams] I just say that to keep up the whole tragic, loner, goth girl aesthetic.

[CLIP] [Joanna Lumley as Grandmama Hester Frump]  Well played, my dear. You know exactly how to worm your way into my cold, desiccated heart.