Reality star and influencer Francesca Farago knows she reads as a villain on-screen. In Too Hot to Handle Season 1, she wasn’t shocked that she made few friends among her castmates, even as she was regarded as one of the most sought-after singles in the villa. “It is what it is,” she tells Tudum. “I’m not a people pleaser, except in relationships.”

Whether she’s on THTH or expanding into the Netflix dating show universe in Love Is Blind: After the Altar — and now, dating competition show Perfect Match —Francesca leads with confidence. But underneath that beauty and seemingly easy self-assuredness — and underneath the villain exterior — she sees herself as a person who is able to be vulnerable in pursuit of love, and strong when facing trials in real life.

After a tumultuous few years, Francesca is now in a hard-won relationship that feels like a family: She’s helping raise her partner’s child, she bought a house in the summer that they’re renovating to move into together, along with their cat, named after a character in Adventure Time. Meanwhile, Francesca continues to manage her sustainable swimsuit line, Farago the Label. Her life is miles away from the public chaos of her relationship with THTH castmate Harry Jowsey, though she admits wryly, “I think it’ll probably forever haunt me.”

Prior to Too Hot to Handle, you were already a model and influencer with a big Instagram following. How did your life change after the show, in terms of exposure?
My life definitely drastically changed pretty quickly. When I did end up coming to LA I would have to watch what I was doing and where I was going and be very private about things, because people would find out and photographers would follow me around, which I was obviously not used to before. That was intense for a while. It’s not like that anymore, but it was like that for a full two years after the show. But financially, of course, I’m a lot more stable. Income is easier. Being able to reach a broader audience has been amazing for my career.

You have this really confident demeanor on the show. Where does that come from? Is it something you had to develop over time?
I probably got it from my mom. Growing up, she was very, very, very confident. If I was a little insecure as a teenager, I would just look at her and how she would command a room. She would walk in there and everyone would look at her — she was very beautiful. She wore whatever she wanted as well, like if she wanted to wear a tank top and have her boobs be out, she’d own it. I got that from her.

But being confident in myself probably came over time, and through relationships I had. Being cheated on as an early adult made me learn who I was as a person and how I wanted to be treated. It made me have a don’t-give-a-fuck attitude towards men and relationships. Being heartbroken makes you a little bit… not soulless, but it gives you a tough demeanor. Heartless — maybe that’s the word. I focused more on myself and what I wanted and learned that if someone doesn’t want me or people don’t like me, I’m not gonna change that.

What was it like meeting and falling in love with Harry in that environment? Why do you think you two connected in the way you did at that time?
Honestly, I think I was a little bit naive and very hopeful. I was so in love with the idea of meeting someone in the experience, like someone is here for me, someone has been picked for me. They know who I like. I thought my type of person was going to be in the house, and I was so focused on that that I overlooked flaws and allowed myself to be treated in ways I shouldn’t have been treated in certain situations. I felt bonded to this person for life, even though I should have walked away much sooner. And he was charming. And tall.

Harry and Francesca bond during a workshop.

There’s a scene early on when Harry has lied about who made the first move between the two of you, and almost everyone believes him. It’s kind of heartbreaking to watch your reaction to that, and just seeing how quickly he got people on his side. What do you think about that scene now?
When I watched it [again], I was surprised that no one reached out to me that week or that month to be like, “Oh shit, my bad.” They see now I wasn’t lying, and they still didn’t reach out? That’s when I was like, “I still don’t like all of you. We’re never gonna be friends.” Growing up in life, that’s always been my role. No one’s ever believed me, and [everyone] thinks I’m the bad person, and thinks I’m a bully. I don’t know if it’s my confidence or my resting bitch face, but I’m an easy person to not like. So when I didn’t get along with people in the house, I wasn’t shocked. It was harsher to watch than it was living it, because I didn’t know what people were saying behind closed doors.

That seems really tough.
Yeah, even before the show came out, Harry and I made a pact — well, it was his idea, so that makes sense now — to not let whatever we saw affect our relationship. I was like, yeah, good idea, I probably said some stuff to Kori I didn’t like. But then after the show came out, all my friends were messaging me, like, “Why are you with him?” I was like, “Well, I didn’t know at the time that he was saying these things.”

You’ve now been part of Too Hot to Handle, Love Is Blind, and perhaps a new project in the works. What is it like to be in this Netflix dating show universe?
I definitely appreciate all the experiences I’m given, and I do enjoy filming even though it’s emotionally tolling, and you have to put yourself in a certain headspace. It’s reality, but it’s not real. You’re with these people for this period of time, but you’re going to go home and not be with them. You have to compartmentalize emotions and decide how you’re gonna move forward. But I love meeting new people, and I learn so much about myself every time. It’s hard watching it back, but then I feel like I grow as a person.