Richard E. Grant is the kind of person you’d want to be seated next to at a dinner party. The Oscar, BAFTA, Golden Globe and SAG nominee is best-known for playing rogues and raconteurs such as Withnail, in the British cult classic Withnail & I, and Jack Hock in Can You Ever Forgive Me? — not to mention poor Clifford, the stressed manager of the Spice Girls in Spice World. This is someone with stories to tell! 

While Spice World opens with the group performing the song “Too Much,” Grant now finds himself in a different transatlantic cultural phenomenon’s Too Much. In Lena Dunham’s romantic series, Grant plays Jonno Ratigan, boss of American expat Jessica (Megan Stalter) and satirical manifestation of British upper-class rigidity. Early in the series, Jonno, alongside his wife Ann (Naomi Watts), hosts a dinner party at his posh west London home. 

“Playing Naomi Watts’ husband in Too Much was an absolute pleasure,” says Grant. “We got on instantly and had to give a dinner party, where we were scripted to drink too much and dance like dervishes. Oh, and I had to have a drunken physical fight with Will Sharpe. All of which we got paid for! I love my job.”

Now, Grant shares his own idea of a dream dinner party, featuring his beloved Barbra Streisand and a lavish seafood spread. 

My late wife [prolific dialect coach Joan Washington] had a golden rule for parties: Each guest had to know at least two other people for the night to go with a swing, so that no one felt left out or abandoned. I love cooking for my friends and would invite eight people for dinner, then we’d all be able to have a good yakkity-yak without anyone feeling like they’re missing out on any story.

For the guest list, to start, Barbra Streisand (of course) and her husband James Brolin. They love seafood and each other! As do Sting and Trudie Styler. Nigella Lawson, who loves eating and has read every book imaginable. Melissa McCarthy and her husband Ben Falcone, both of whom will make us laugh all night. The beauty of having couples who clearly love each other, and have done so for decades, is inestimable. 

To start, drinks in the drawing room with bowls of olives, almost charred little sausages coated with honey and Dijon mustard, salt and vinegar crisps, caviar on miniature blinis, champagne, and Coca-Cola. A giant four-wick Mabel Grey geranium Bamford candle would scent the air. 

Dinner in the conservatory would be by candlelight — everyone over 40 looks golden and gorgeous in candlelight! That’s guaranteed! 

For an entrée, we would have grilled Madagascan prawns doused in garlic butter and paprika, with homemade lemon mayonnaise.  

The plat would consist of fresh white crab linguini with chopped coriander, olive oil, lemon juice, Malden salt, and mild red chilli. This is accompanied by a rocket salad with vinaigrette, and grilled sourdough toast dipped in olive oil and lemon juice.

To end the meal, we would have Christmas pudding … or fresh berries for the dissenters. Plus McConnell’s coffee ice cream for Barbra. 

Sting has no problem singing off-duty, so at the end of dinner I’ll ask him to sing “Fragile,” which he and Barbra sang together on her latest album of duets. In my dream scenario, she might just defy her own tradition and quietly hum along.

As they hit their final note, I’d naturally pass out with pleasure and be revived by Trudie, whose lips would resuscitate me instantly. We’ve been friends for 40 years and she’s always kissed me on the mouth. 

Finally we’d end the night with coffee, fresh mint tea, and Bendicks mint chocolates for afters,  then to bed! 

This feature originally appeared in Issue 21 of Tudum Magazine.