We’ll give you a moment to catch your breath after that reunion. Good? Well, cozy up to your comfort animal (on the bed, couch or floor — your choice) and brace yourself for even more The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 1 revelations, because the cast is ready to clear the air once and for all. 

“There was a huge gap from when we ended the show to when we did the reunion, so to see that charged environment was a surprise,” host JoAnna Garcia Swisher tells Tudum about the Season 1 reunion. “People were ready to rumble, ready to be heard, and ready to have their moment.”

And they definitely take advantage, as each of the five couples who risked it all for love come back together for the first time after filming to relive all the drama, a year later. Some choose peace, others choose war — and one person gets up and leaves the room entirely. If that isn’t enough, the episode ends with one final shocker: Lexi and Rae, who are all smiles on the reunion couch, have since called off their wedding, leaving everyone wondering what spoiled their happily ever after.  

Hear from the cast about what they’d like to clear up post-reunion in the clip above. And to find out who’s still together, which cast members are invited to the only Queer Love Season 1 wedding left standing and (most importantly, of course) where you can learn more about Tiff’s friend Natasha, check in with The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 1 cast below. 

Once you’ve caught up with the Season 1 crew, check out everything you need to know about The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 2, including the new group of couples entering the experiment. 

Lexi

Love is in the air for Lexi, who’s embarked on a new romance after leaving the reunion couch. 

“I found somebody that gives me all of the love and happiness I felt with Mal, mixed with an intimacy that we’re exploring,” she tells Tudum. “That’s truly what I always wanted when I knew my relationship with Rae was ending — somebody that made me feel the way I felt when I was with Mal, and we were walking around San Diego calling each other our wives.” 

Yes, in case you’re still processing, Lexi and Rae are no longer together and split shortly after the reunion. What happened? Well, just like with any breakup, each has their own version of the story, but according to Lexi, Rae is “just not the right person for what I want” as a life partner. “There’s absolutely love there. There was a friendship there. There was respect there, and I will always maintain that,” she adds. “There’s no bad blood, and I want nothing but the best for her. It’s sad and bittersweet that she’s like a distant cousin right now, but I hope there’s a way to become friends at some point.”

Lexi did, however, leave the show with at least one lifelong connection. While their trial marriage with Mal was strictly platonic, the two have remained close ever since. “Calling Mal a friend wouldn’t even feel like enough value, because she’s family,” she says. “There will be times where my brother will call me and be like, ‘So I just talked to Mal and asked her for advice.’ ”

Reflecting on her experience, Lexi says she was “humbled as hell” to be in the position of the ultimatum giver. Her time in the experiment made her reevaluate her entire approach to dating. Her major takeaways? “Having more meaningful conversations earlier, so you don’t ever get to a point where you have to issue an ultimatum.” In June 2023, Lexi hard-launched her relationship with photographer Kristin Zancanelli, aka Zanc, and the couple got engaged in March 2024. Since then, she’s also competed on Battle Camp, a competition series that brings together stars across the Netflix Reality Universe to test their physical strength, strategic mind, and social prowess.

Rae

These days, Rae is stepping into her power and making her own doctor’s appointments, for the record. “It’s just so nice to sit in the growth that I feel today,” she tells Tudum. “Everyone’s messaging me saying like, ‘Oh my God, are you OK?’ And I’m like, ‘Yeah, actually it all worked out the way it should.’ ”

As for her breakup with Lexi, Rae says what happened after the two left the reunion as a couple was a “really crazy turn of events.” “At first, it was hard just in how it all happened, but when you exit a relationship, the veil comes off, and you’re able to look at the dynamic a bit more,” she says. Communication has always been a challenge for Rae and Lexi, and while they made progress after the experiment wrapped, their issues continued to resurface. “We were good at the reunion, and then afterward we were still rehashing things. [Lexi] started a new career and her lifestyle really changed, and we were having trouble navigating that and things from the past,” Rae adds. “It just kind of got to a point where we couldn’t come to terms on certain differences.” 

Both Rae and Lexi agreed not to share specifics about the split, but Rae says it didn’t boil down to just one thing. “You can forgive and forget, but things still bubble up, and you deal with them as they come,” she says. “People make mistakes and you kind of have to revisit those sometimes.” Through the “utter chaos” of the past few months, Rae has learned how to stand up for herself now as a single woman –– and she’s all the better for it. “When I look back on the relationship, I feel like I lost a little bit of myself because I let her handle so many things,” she adds. “[Lexi’s] very opinionated and really able to talk about things on the spot, whereas I need space and time to process. Finding my voice has been a really huge takeaway for me, especially being with someone who’s so dominant.” Rae is also doing the work to “break generational patterns” and express herself; she grew up in an Asian household where she learned to “hide your emotions and brush [them] under the rug.” Saying “I love you” to her friends and family is something that she says she’s actively working on.

In the time since Season 1 ended, Rae has relocated from Orange County, California to Los Angeles. In August 2024, she teased on Instagram that she had a new special someone in her life. She credits The Ultimatum experience with making her a “better partner and a better person,” adding, “I feel the most secure and confident I’ve ever felt.”

Sam and Aussie

It’s been breakthrough after breakthrough for Sam and Aussie since we last left them. 

As the only couple still together, the two believe they’ve found their way through the mess and back to each other thanks to one simple rule: “We came first, and then the relationship came second,” Sam tells Tudum. “If it was meant to be, then we’ll come back together, but we put everything in it for our own journeys and healing.” Giving each other the space and time to look inward has made Aussie fall “even more in love” with Sam since the experiment ended, because now they both have the tools to weather the ups and the downs. 

“I really am so lucky to be with this person,” Aussie adds, noting that Sam was one of the first people that “questioned” Aussie’s gender identity. Their discussions spurred a period of major self-discovery for both that has yet to let up. “[Sam] was asking me questions and I was like, ‘Yeah, I’ve always felt like I was male since I was a little kid,’” Aussie says. “She allowed that space for me to explore and I’m still exploring. Am I nonbinary, am I a trans man? Am I transmasculine? These are all the things that weren’t in my vocabulary growing up. Having a partner who’s supportive in that journey has allowed me the space to do that.”

For the past couple of years, Sam and Aussie’s healing journeys have taken precedence over walking down the aisle. “We’re slowly getting there, but I just have so much groundwork that I’m doing with my life that that’s kind of taken priority,” Aussie explains, with Sam adding that the work they are doing together is “so much more of a commitment than just having a wedding.” There is, however, one detail they’ve already nailed down about their future nuptials. Sam and Aussie reveal that the only cast members who can expect an invitation are Tiff and Vanessa. As for Mildred, Aussie says they are not on speaking terms but leaves the door open for a friendship in the future, saying, “There’s still some healing for me to do on my end, and I’m going to get there.”

According to Instagram, the two closed out 2023 with a move from California to Washington for a new job and “new beginnings.” A year after the Season 1 reunion, in honor of Pride 2024, Aussie wrote, “So much has happened since then and we’re happy to be settling into our beautiful new home ... As lovers of nature and the natural world, our souls thrive every time we venture outside. We’re so excited for more adventures and to celebrate our privilege of being out in the open because of the courage and resilience of generations past and present.”

Vanessa

Love her, hate her, or want to date her, Vanessa is protecting her energy and says she’s “just living for me” now. 

So what does that mean exactly? Well, over the last couple of years, Vanessa has been prioritizing herself and her needs — be it traveling solo around Europe for two months or walking in Equality Fashion Week. “What I learned during the experience is to accept that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and to just not let it bother me,” she tells Tudum. “I’m going to do what I want in life and want to find the happiest version of myself.” 

For now, that includes not being in a committed relationship, which has allowed Vanessa to truly embrace her newfound independence. “Since I don’t have a serious partner, I’m never disappointing someone or leaving someone in the dust,” she says. Following her split with Xander and trial marriage with Rae, Vanessa is looking for an entirely different kind of love connection. “When I met Xander, we very much needed each other in a way, because we were both still coming out to our family and friends,” she explains. “Our stories are intertwined and empowered by each other.” But now, Vanessa’s ideal relationship is one where she and her future partner “complement each other, not complete each other” — a distinction she’s realized only with the benefit of hindsight.

Vanessa came close to finding that balance, revealing that she was in a serious relationship after the show ended that ultimately didn’t work out. “It was beautiful to realize I could fall in love again,” Vanessa says. “I struggled for a long time. I was single, sad, and crying every day, so to find myself again and to be able to fall in love with someone else was a really reaffirming experience.” Now she’s firmly back in her single era, which means dating, spending time with friends, and putting her past with Xander behind her. “When I watched the show back, I found out a lot of things that [Xander] had never told me, so as much as I thought I was healed, I wasn’t,” she says. As for what the future might hold for the two, only time will tell. “There’s always going to be love there, and I will always wish the best for her,” Vanessa says. “In a few years there’s a friendship to be had, but for now it’s a struggle bus.” 

These days, Vanessa is living in Los Angeles, where she’s pursuing an acting career. In March, she locked lips on screen once again, appearing in a steamy music video for Zolita’s “Hypocrite.”

Xander

Xander has found her voice and is prepared to use it, no matter what anyone else might think. 

“I was trying so much to protect everyone else’s feelings. I didn’t want anyone to be upset or hurt, but also those feelings are OK,” she tells Tudum. “I don’t want to go into a period where I shut myself off and self-isolate like I’ve done before. At this point, I just want to feel.” Weekly therapy has been a major gateway to helping Xander tap into her power and reevaluate certain relationships, as well as explore past childhood trauma. “Whenever I do get into another romantic relationship, that’s even going to feel better, because I feel so much more myself,” she adds. That’s right, everyone: Xander is currently single. 

Despite their shared history, Vanessa is “not someone that [Xander] would call a trusted, stable, reliable friend” as it stands today. While the “beautiful moment” they shared at the reunion opened the door to a possible friendship, Xander says the exchange didn't feel authentic in retrospect. “We didn't talk all year, and then she reached out to me two weeks before the reunion,” Xander recalls. “After the reunion, it was just like, poof, she was gone. It felt like her intentions again were not in the right place and not in my best interest.”

Xander certainly looks back more fondly on her time with Yoly, but despite their strong feelings for each other, it just wasn’t meant to be. Once both were single, Xander says their connection “wasn’t hitting the same way.” And, for the record, yes, they did meet up at Coachella 2023, but nothing happened because, as Xander simply puts it, “our time had passed.” Xander says she also had to process some “unresolved anger” about their situation. “I want someone to choose me,” she says. “I don’t want to feel like you tried out this thing with Mal and then now you’re going to come back and try this thing with me. It wasn’t sitting well with me.” In her next relationship, it sounds like Xander is seeking a happy medium between her past partners. “I want someone who’s going to bring me outside of my comfort zone and give me the space and listen to the things that I’m feeling.”

Xander still lives in Hawaii, where she once lived with her ex Vanessa, who’s since settled in Los Angeles. Since filming The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 1 in San Diego, Xander has considered moving there. But for the time being, she’s keeping busy, launching her own physical therapy practice, working out with friends, and traveling to other beautiful destinations, like Bali. 

Mal

Mal left the The Ultimatum: Queer Love experience with a forever kind of bond — just not the one she expected. 

While her trial marriage with Lexi never took a romantic turn, the two have continued to vibe beyond their wildest dreams. Now they describe themselves less as friends and more like bonus family members. “I don’t know that if Lexi and I were to run into each other we would date,” Mal says. “But we built a lasting connection and a real, real friendship. She’s so dope. I just love her so much.” 

As for her relationship status nowadays, Mal says she prefers to “remain mysterious,” but offered up a few updates about where she and Yoly stand. While Mal says she “loves [Yoly] to death,” the exes aren’t on speaking terms. “Yoly feels like family to me,” Mal says. “You have family, you have cousins, and you have distant cousins. At the moment, we’re just two cousins going through life and trying to process this all at the same time.” Despite all the drama that’s gone down over the season, she believes the ultimatum, at least in their case, was “mutually beneficial” for both the giver and the receiver. And Mal would like to make one thing crystal clear: “Yoly is a fantastic person, and she’s a human doing the best that she can, like all of us.”

In that spirit, Mal hopes to “continue to extend grace to people” in this next chapter of her life. In March, she launched a podcast called The Grey, in which she unpacks the nuances of life with her friend and co-host and encourages listeners to hold compassion for themselves and others around them. “I can’t harp on that enough, but I really lead in love and kindness,” she says. “This life shit is hard — outside just our little experience with everything else is going on.” That’s why exiting the show with a lifelong friend in Lexi is the ultimate gift and one Mal wishes not only for her castmates, but for all queer folks. “I do hope that somebody finds the type of bond that we have,” she says. “I hope that everybody finds that part of community for them — not just on the show, but in life.”

Yoly

After the Ultimatum experiment, Yoly took her time getting to know someone truly special: Yoly. For Yoly, tapping into her needs above others means prioritizing fitness, cooking, cuddling with her dog, and solo travel. 

Despite self-identifying as a total “lover girl,” Yoly says her perspective on dating and marriage has evolved significantly. First off, she needs to support and be supported by a partner “without this co-dependent shit that we’re used to.” Next? She’s absolutely done with ultimatums. “I will not put myself in a situation again where I need to give an ultimatum to get an answer,” Yoly says. “The person that I was with Mal was somebody who was willing to give up parts of myself for love. But now I’m like, ‘If you’re not sure, that’s fine, but go be unsure over there, and I will just continue on my own road.’”

When it comes to her ex Mal, Yoly says, “The love is there and the care is there.” The two share a deep history and connection, which makes it “conflicting” to see each other. Regardless, it’s clear to Yoly that she and Mal aren’t meant to be romantic partners. “We’ve done this more than enough times,” she says. “We don’t have to keep drilling it in.” As for Xander, their trial marriage created a deep “intimacy” between the two even though it didn’t translate to a full-blown romantic relationship. “We’re cool and check in with each other,” Yoly says. “Xander is a wonderful person.” 

In October 2023, almost five months after The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 1 came out, Yoly shared via Instagram that she was in a relationship with someone new. In June of this year, she wrote of her partner, “1000 kisses from you is never enough.”

Tiff

Tiff may have left the reunion stage early, but they’ve never been more firmly rooted in their truth. 

“I had four months of complete peace and healing,” Tiff tells Tudum about their journey to the reunion. “I had no ill intent toward [Mildred] and then she berates me onstage, and it ripped open a huge Band-Aid for me. All the trauma I went through with her — the arguments we had and me just feeling humiliated and gaslit — came right back.” Tiff explains that their silence and eventual exit at the reunion was actually a form of protection for Mildred after their relationship imploded in a swirl of painful accusations. “She shot herself in the foot,” Tiff says. “I didn’t mention her son, she mentions her son. I didn’t mention the arrest report, she mentions the arrest report. She lays everything out [in the] open, and I was absolutely shocked.”

With some perspective, Tiff settled into a new chapter, where they no longer have contact with their ex. Instead, they’re getting back in touch with their inner child and examining long-established attachment styles. “There was a pattern with Mildred, where I kept on trying and fighting, and she kept on disposing and discarding me,” Tiff says. “I realized that the issues that I had as a kid with my father carried into my relationship. I do believe we attract our childhood wounds, and we yearn for it in our relationships. That was the biggest wake-up call to me. I’m like, ‘Why am I trying so hard with someone?’ I shouldn’t have to.”

The revelation, Tiff says, “rocked” them to their core and forced them to realize “who I need to attract into my life and who I don’t.” One person that made the cut? Their friend Natasha, who quickly became a favorite among fans. “Every three DMs, it’s like, ‘What’s Natasha’s handle? Is Natasha single?’ I’m like, ‘You’re flooding my DMs,’ ” Tiff jokes. (Curious minds  can find Natasha on Instagram here). Tiff’s fur baby Shylo also made a huge impact on viewers, so in September 2024, they were devastated to share that, at almost 15 years old, their pup had crossed the rainbow bridge. “She was my best friend, through thick and thin. Traveled with me, was there with me with every move, every heart ache, every job, every celebration,” Tiff wrote on Instagram.

As for Tiff’s current romantic relationship status, they’ve been actively dating, now with a well-tested radar for “noticing certain behaviors and red flags” as soon as they pop up. Through their trial marriage with Sam, Tiff realized their ideal partner will have a “gentle spirit” and lead with vulnerability. “I have so much contrast and clarity as to what I want in a person now,” they say. “Not just for my own liking, but to actually bring out the best in me.” While they continue to look for the right romantic partner, Tiff is leaning on friends, including fellow Season 1 ultimatum receiver, Vanessa, with whom they have remained close.

Mildred

After the highs, lows, and even lower blows at the reunion, Mildred isn’t giving up on ultimatums — or herself.

“I still think ultimatums work,” she tells Tudum. “I am more aware of what I want in a marriage and what I don’t. Yes, marriage is the goal, but I just have to be patient to get it right. I still have strength within me to fight for love, and most importantly, for what I deserve.” That’s why she’s been “focusing on [her] personal growth journey and digging deeper into becoming aware of [her] actions.” 

For the time being, Mildred is pressing pause on love and happily enjoying the single life. “I’m not quite ready for anything serious — let alone dating,” she says. “I need to heal from the trauma I went through and take accountability for my actions as a partner before I can explore sharing my space with anyone new.” Putting her past behind her was an all too necessary step, so she is no longer in communication with Tiff and is “planning on leaving it that way.” But despite everything that went down, Mildred still wishes them “success and happiness in the future.” She’s had slightly more contact with Aussie since the show, explaining that they spoke briefly at a party. “It was very casual and surface,” Mildred says of the interaction. “Everyone copes differently, and I didn’t take any offense to it.” She isn’t holding onto any resentment from their trial marriage, adding that she hopes Aussie is “happy healing and getting married.”

As a mother, dog parent, and business owner, Mildred’s plate is full. However, she’s also made room for another hobby to cope with the breakup and fallout from the experiment: Zumba classes. “Healing through dance and inspiring others to do the same” is one thing that helps keep her going. And while she might be dancing on her own for the moment, it’s worth it, because Mildred “firmly believes in protecting [her] peace at all costs.”